Standard Disclaimers apply. Since this manga is new, it’s important that I write down the disclaimers. I think I’m one of the first fanfic writers for Get Backers and disclaimers are important. Get Backers, Ban and Amano Ginji and most of the cast; are strictly owned by Rando Ayamine and Yuya Aoki. Properties of Kodansha Ltd., Tokyo. All right reserved by them, not me!

The Song ‘Nothing’s going to change my love for you’ is by George Benson and copyrighted by whatever record company that spawned it.

Yaoi, kleenex...

A fanfic by ~> Bulma Briefs

Tippie – To get a feel, get that dang song and play it on cue while you read this fic.

Frosted Heart

“Shigoto o owarimashita! Ha! Ha! Ha!” Midou Ban laughed as he counted the money. “Ne, Ban-kun… wasn’t that after sales service too harsh?” Kazuki blinked as he remembered Ban giving a Jagan towards that old hag being lit up by ghostly flames.

  Ban looked at him and smirked. “That was nothing. Anyway, we have to serve the best for our customers, right?” he winked at Ginji. Ginji nodded and smiled.

  “How will I miss Yuki-chan,” Ginji sighed, Ban pouted. “Well, she’s off with her boyfriend. Most probably living happily ever after cuddling each other,” Ban grimaced sarcastically, walking away.

  “Ban-chan!” Ginji ran after the guy. “Where are you going?” Ginji asked. “Nowhere. Just away from something,” Ban smiled. “What is it?” Ginji asked. “You,” Ban smiled, almost warmly if the sarcastic tone missed.

  “Me?” Ginji blinked. “Yes, you!” Ban reached up to pull his ears. “You’re always drooling on girls, you’re always busy saving girls! And what do I get for taking care of you? NOTHING!” Ginji winced. “Itetette!” he cried. Ban smiled sarcastically, letting go of his grip from Ginji’s ears. “Bye,” he uttered, walking out of the café.

  “Maybe he’s still not over his rage,” Akapane said softly from the booth.


  “Where the hell is Ban-kun?” Hevn sighed, hitting the roll of paper in her hands on the counter.
 Himiko frowned. She hated it when Ban was late. He must’ve been up to something for showing up after the stated time.

  “That idiot must be up to something,” she suddenly spoke. Everyone looked at her. Himiko seldom say anything, so when she opened her mouth it really meant business.

 “It’s okay. I’ll eat while you guys wait for him,” Ginji smiled at his plate of Toro. “Leave some for Ban-kun,” Hevn reminded him. “Ne, it’s okay. He won’t eat,” Ginji grinned. “I won’t eat what?” Suddenly Ban was already standing behind him. Ginji grinned. “Ban-chan…” he uttered. “I haven’t eat lunch yet,” Ban pouted.

 “So, this is my share!” He laughed as he took away Ginji’s plate of sushi, jumping up and down the café.

  Everyone sweatdropped.

  “Ginji!” Ban exclaimed as he pushed Ginji out of the way. The sharp weapon poked through his side and retreated.

Breathing in such way that he felt pain in his chest radiating from the wound, Ban looked up. Ginji went towards Shido and Kazuki. "You guys alright?" he asked, helping the long hair boy. Kazuki nodded.

  Ban bit his lips. His trembling fingers dug into the wet dirt. When had it started to rain?

  Blood was everywhere. His blood. "Ban, get up!" hollered Kazuki. Ban just sat there, unmoving. He could feel his heart smashed into a pulp. Flashbacks kept replaying in his head.

  He would put himself in danger just to save Ginji no matter what's the cost. But would Ginji do the same? He seemed to care more about his old friends than him. Even though they just have scratches and he in the other hand, bleeding to death. Like what was happening currently. It was painful to finally realize that Ginji always had his friends’ attention more than he did when they were together. All his love and feeling gone by Ginji's standards as Ban was treated as a mere shadow.

 Shadow, was that what he was to him? A mere shadow. Ban blinked. There was once when Shido told him that Ban was like a dainty shadow to the blonde. Always with him, doing things for him. Tears fell rolling down his already bloodstained cheeks.

 He shut his eyes when he heard Shido's voice calling him a bastard. Blaming him for the separation of Volts. :... "You cannot be Ginji-san's partner! You’re unworthy of anything he is! You're just a bastard! Some son of a bitch who separated us!!!" ...:

 Ban wanted to think that it was not true. That he would have Ginji's love and first attention like he had for the blonde.

 It hurts. It damn fucking hurts. The thought of comparing between him putting his life in danger in favor to save Ginji with Ginji fussing over his lightly wounded friends, leaving him bleeding profusely was painful.

 "Ban!" Kazuki shouted. "Ban-chan! Get up!" Ginji's voice was heard piercing in the background.

  What did it feel like to die? Maybe then he would find some emotional peace? Maybe then he wouldn't have to feel love? Because this hurts too much.

  "Why is he sitting there and crying?" Shido pointed. "He's bleeding!" Kazuki exclaimed.

  They were just lunging forward for Ban when a low voice spoke. “Move and he dies,” he said softly.

  Ban looked up to the weapon being raised high, the light from the moon shone, blinding his sight but he kept his two beautiful blue eyes opened. Those two tearstained orbs shining madly as the moonlight shone it. The gash in his stomach stung like hell.

  Ban looked at Ginji with a sarcastic smile. He was just watching. Watching as the shining katana lunged down to slice him into half. Then a bitter thought ran through his mind. If it were either Kazuki or Shido, what would Ginji do? Jump into their rescue? Most probably. He smiled bitterly.

  He once thought that Ginji calling him Ban-chan was something special, until Kazuki came along and he heard him calling him Kazu-chan. Was he really a mere transport, shelter provider, food supplier and also a last resort of rescue for Ginji?

  "Ban-chan!!" he finally heard the alto voice belonged to the blonde shouted. Ban ignored the shout as he looked at the figure lowering the sharp weapon towards him. Everything was slow, seconds seemed like minutes, ticking by ever so slowly.

  "Why don't you move?" suddenly the low voice asked. The shining weapon stopped in mid air. "I want to die," Ban said, his tearful blue eyes spelt pain, and lost.

  "What!?" Ginji, Shido and Kazuki exclaimed aloud. The guy wiped off the blood on his forehead. "Are you in pain?" the guy asked. Ban nodded.

  "Physically?" the guy asked. Blue eyes shook his head, lying. "Emotionally?" his asked again. Ban bit his lips. He was loosing face. But who cares? He was to die anyway, why bother?

  "Yes," he answered, wincing as the wound stung him again. "What if I tell you I can heal you?" the guy's face now slowly visible as the moon came forth more from behind the clouds.

  He wasn't as bulky as the shadow made him, he wasn't as ugly as Ban thought he was, his fine jaw, his smooth face, his sweet eyes. He dropped his shiny katana. His free hand moved to Ban's chin to tilt his face so those blue electric eyes kept looking at him.

  He leaned forward and closed the space between their lips in a soft warm kiss. Ban felt too much pain physically and emotionally to pull himself away from that sweet supple lips. In fact that kiss drowned him like some kind of a drug to pull his mind somewhere from the pain, concentrating on the passionate contact.

  Tears flowed freely. Out of pain, pleasure but most importantly because of the fact that Ginji would rather watch him being killed and kissed by some stranger and do nothing about it.

  Ban fainted in the arms of the guy.

  Ginji's jaw dropped.
  “Ban-chan!!” Ginji shouted, pushing the guy in ancient samurai clothes away.

Ban opened his eyes slightly. He saw white, everywhere white. “Did I die by any chance?” he asked to no one in particular. “Of course you haven’t,” said a voice. Ban shut his eyes. It was Shido’s voice. Why in the three worlds was he here?

“I wish I were,” Ban uttered. “You think I like to take care of you? I did this cause Ginji-san went to take care of Kazuki’s wounds. Poor Kazuki had a few scratches,” Ban bit his lips. His so-called lover wasn’t even interested in seeing him die. He was more worried about his friend who happened to get some scratches.

“He’s awake?” a voice asked after the door was opened and shut. Shido nodded as Ginji came in. “Ban-chan!” Ginji grinned.

Ban didn’t turn to look. “You’re here already,” Shido said softly. “Where else you think I might be?” Ginji reached out to hold Ban’s smooth slender fingers, but Ban hid it under himself leaving Ginji to hold nothing. Ginji just sat down next to Ban as Shido got up.

“How’s Kazuki?” Shido asked. “Oh, he’s okay. I sent him home, put him in a warm bath, made dinner and tucked him to bed,” Ginji smiled. “Oh,” Shido nodded.

Ban suddenly felt his heart, burn. Ginji had never in his short term of friendship made any food for him, not even offer some of his own food. Now he came to visit but talked about Kazuki, not even asking if Ban was fine.

“Ginji,” Ban suddenly spoke. It was hard considering he was trying to suppress his disappointment, anger, sadness and masked it with a cold voice. “What is it, Ban-chan?” he asked. “I think we better end this,” Ban said softly. “End what, Ban-chan?” the blonde asked. Ban turned to look at Ginji. He felt hurt inside. This cute warm face was more attentive to everyone else but him. To girls, to Kazuki, to Shido, but never him. He was the one who jumped here and there worrying about him.

He would leave him to the lions and run away with the girls.

Ginji would even leave him to die.

Shido sensing something had excused himself. “I think I’m thirsty,” he uttered softly as he walked out the door.

“What is it, Ban-chan?” Ginji asked after he watched Shido shutting the door behind him. Ban had already turned his face away. “Do you even know we have a bond between ourselves?” Ban asked. “What bond?” Ginji asked.

It hurts. It really, really hurts.

“Amano Ginji-san…” Ban started. “From now on, we’re just business partners. Just call me Midou-SAN. I’ll call you Amano-san. You don’t need to stay near me if there’s no business. Is that okay with you, Amano-san?” Ban asked.

 Ginji frowned. “Why, Ban-chan?” Ginji asked. “It’s Midou-SAN to you,” Ban insisted. “But, why?” Ginji asked. “What am I to you, Amano-san?” Ban asked.

“You’re my lover!” Ginji exclaimed. Ban smiled bitterly. “I wish,” Ban smirked. “I wish I could fucking believe that, Amano-san,” he smiled, looking away. “But why not!?” Ginji frowned, his expression anxious.

“Have you ever even treated me like a best friend if not lover?” Ban asked. “I don’t understand!” Ginji denied. “When I was injured, who did you tend to first? When I was going to be killed, what did you do? I bet if it was either Kazuki or Shido in my place, you’d do the opposite of what you did to me. Leave me to die!” Ban couldn’t suppress his tears anymore.

 Ginji was silent.

“Have you ever made dinner for me? NO, You never even shared your food with me. Not a bite! I’d have to take it away from you. I hide my desire behind that, you know? Have you ever bathed me? NO, You can’t even stand to wait when I wanted to bathe, why? Cause I am the cause of your vexation. Have you ever tucked me to bed? NO! You complained to me everyday about the discomforts of sleeping in the car and the danger; so I had to keep watch every night so you can sleep soundly. Was it not enough what I did to earn at least some place in your heart?”

Ginji bit his lips. He didn’t know Ban was so sensitive inside and how long had he kept this thing to himself.

 “Remember when we were trapped with Shido’s lion? Would you really leave me to die there? Yes, I think you would,” Ban smiled.

“You know what’s the saddest part?” Ban asked. There was still no answer from the silent blonde. “That you would rather tend your friend who only got scratches than sitting here waiting for me to wake up. I just wished I was dead just now when I knew it wasn’t my lover who sat watching me, instead it was Shido,” Ban reached the hand with tubes and wires to wipe his tears.

Then he laughed sadistically. “Maybe it’s faith. I had never had real love from anyone. Not even parents. You were my first friend and I was so sure you’d give love to me when I saw you. But I was wrong. I was destined to be lonely forever,” he chuckled ironically to himself.

Ginji cried. He could imagine how much he had hurt Ban. “I really want to die…” Ban said softly. Ginji looked up to Ban when he realized that Ban sounded like he was going to sleep.

He was sleeping. His head lay limp to the other side. Ginji was going to go for a walk to think things over when his eyes spotted something red on those pristine white sheets covering his lover.

Ginji frowned and pulled off the covers, revealing a steady stream of blood draining out from Ban’s clumsily cut wrist. The bandaged wound on his side was bleeding profusely even. How did he compose such suicide was left to be a mystery as there were no sharp objects nearby.

“My god,” his eyes were as big as dinner plates.


The doctor came out of the operating theatre. Hevn, Natsumi, Pore and Ginji rushed towards the doctor. “How’s he, doctor?” they asked anxiously. The doctor sighed. “We did blood transfusion, but the wounds won’t heal wasting away the precious blood. Even the bandages couldn’t stop the bleeding. It now depends on him. His heart is weak, and miracle could only happen if he has the will to live,” the doctor told them. “But he wanted to die,” Ginji frowned. The doctor shrugged. “Then it’s out of my hand,” he said as he walked away.

Ginji ran inside, the face on the operation table was so different. It was white and pale, the lips seemed bruised and blue, trembling slightly.

Ginji felt a stab of guilt inside him. He now realized how much Ban loved him, how much he cared for him and how much he would just throw away his life to save him. Memories ran through his head like an old movie.

How much Ban had proven that Ginji was more valuable than anything in the world. Ginji’s eyes stung when he remembered what Ban told him.

The compassion he showed…

:… “You know what Ginji means?” Ban asked. “Tell me,” Ginji smiled. “It means ‘life’,” Ban uttered. “No it doesn’t. It means ‘silver’ and ‘next’,” Ginji giggled. “Well, it means ‘life’ in BAN’s dictionary. So, without Ginji there is no live. May as well die,” Ban smiled. “Kawaii,” Ginji grinned. “I’m serious!” Ban insisted. …:

That was painful. “Ban-chan!! I’m sorry!! I won’t do such horrible things anymore!!” Ginji shouted, shaking Ban. Then Pore’s words crossed him.

The importance of friendship to him…

:… “Why did Ban chose to fight Shido?” Ginji asked. “He didn’t want you to fight with your friend, he values your friendship with Shido. Even though he doesn’t like him,” Pore giggled. …:

Ginji kept shaking the dying boy. He could feel Ban’s soul slip away from between his fingers.

The sweet confession…

“I have an alien feeling in me,” Ban said softly. “What is it like?” Ginji pondered aloud. “I don’t know if it’s love… but I feel happy around you. I would do anything to keep you out of danger. I can feel butterflies in my stomach when you smile at me,” Ban smiled. “But I smile at you all the time!” Ginji laughed. “That why there’s always butterflies in my stomach,” Ban uttered. “Ai shiteru,” he looked up at the blonde.

“Please wake up, Ban-chan!!”

The tenderness of him…

“Ginji, you alright?” Ban came up to Ginji after he amplified the electric current from the lightning to kill Hishiki, the blue eyed boy reached out to help Ginji. “&$#^*(()%$”!!” Ginji blinked. “Ops, sorry I think the current haven’t finished flowing yet. Hehe,” Ginji giggled. “Do you really want to kill me?” Ban asked. Ginji suddenly fell limp. “Ginji!” Ban rushed and supported the boy even though the electric flowed through him. The pain was unbearable but he kept Ginji to his chest, patting him, soothing him. When the electric was all earthed a few torturous seconds later, Ban started to speak. “You alright, Ginji?” he asked. Ginji nodded and blinked as he felt Ban collapse under him, finally giving out to the electric current.

Those happy faces…

Those funny jokes…

Those sweet teasing…

Those lovely kisses…

It hurts too much to even breath when Ginji finally saw the CEG flow in a straight line.

He couldn’t even utter the name out of shock.

The nurses and doctors came and prepared to bring him back to life. They put the two items on Ban’s chest and flowed electric current through.

1 time…

2 times…

3 times…

Ginji couldn’t take it anymore. The blonde fainted.

A sweet melody… sad… touching…

Ginji concentrated on the melodic hymn of the sound. It creates coldness in the stomach, tears in the eyes and hurt in the heart. Such a sad tune, what a pity for such talent. Ginji slowly opened his eyes. Who would play such song in such place? He observed his surroundings. A hospital.

 The melody of the violin strings being danced softly against a bow was heart-piercing. A gravely melody followed, reminding Ginji of somewhat a sad part of his life. The death…

He got up of bed and ran out of the room. The music seemed louder here in the hallway. He followed his senses and turned right where the sound seemed to be amplified with every step he took.

He reached a door, which seemed to produce the sound. Without thinking twice, he pushed the door open and blinked. There stood Ban playing his violin to the world. The curtains, drawn to the sides.

The song descended into a slow stop, cutting what’s left of happiness into saddening strips.

“Ban-chan…” Ginji uttered softly. “Nice dream, business partner Amano?” Ban smirked as he stopped playing. “No, Ban-chan… please stop I don’t want to play this game anymore,” Ginji cried.

Ban smirked as he put the violin down and sat on his bed. “What game? I’m not playing any game. I’m serious business partner Amano,” Ban had his back to Ginji.

Ginji was eyeing the boy. He had only a pair of white pants on. The wound on his side was not bandaged. Ginji could see the flesh oozing blood, trailing smoothly down to his pristine white pants.

Ginji felt guilty. He watched as the boy shifted and molded himself into the soft bed. Ban never had friends before him. Lonely, no one ever wanted to be his friend. Unlike himself, he had tons of friends and loyal underlings who would do anything to protect him. Can he do such to someone? Protect and care?

He walked over to Ban and climbed in bed with the already sleeping boy. He tried to hold Ban but the boy pushed his hands away. Finally, Ginji had to be satisfied with the touch of Ban’s body against his own without intertwining their limbs like they used to.

“Hello, I’m Ban from Get Backers,” Ban introduced himself to the client. He nodded. “And I’m Amano Ginji,” The blonde paused “……his… business partner,” Ginji said softly. The client nodded and started explaining what he lost. He then handed them their deposit. Ban nodded and sent the guy away.

 Hevn eyed him as he walked back to their seat and began opening the bag. He counted and came up with 100 000 yen. He recounted and handed Ginji 50 000. “Here’s your share,” he said softly and walked away. Ginji looked up at Ban, walking away. He felt hurt inside. It’s okay if he didn’t get the money. He just wanted Ban to just smile at him. He didn’t want the old Ban who was a cold-hearted person. Who only loves himself.

  By nighttime, Ban came back with the artifact. “Ban-chan! You went to get the artifact without me!” Ginji exclaimed. “You didn’t follow,” Ban said flatly. “What am I suppose to do?” Ban rolled his eyes.

  “I didn’t know you went to get the thing! I thought you…” Ban looked at him with dangerous blue orbs. “You think I what?!” he gritted his teeth. Ginji was silenced.

Then suddenly the client came into the café. Ban handed him the artifact and took the balance of the money. Again he split it into half and handed Ginji his share even though he didn’t participate in the work. “But I didn’t do anything!” Ginji protested. “Business is business,” Ban uttered and walked out the door.

“Ban-san’s strange after he came out of hospital,” Natsumi uttered. Ginji bit his lips, his fingers trembled, holding the money.

“I want Ban-chan…” Ginji cried. Remembering their times when they used to tease each other after every job. They were so happy.

‘Kling kling’ the doorbell rang as Kazuki, Shido and Akapane came in. Ren followed in later. “Ginji-san,” Kazuki acknowledged him. Ginji looked up to him and reached out to embrace the boy. “We heard,” Akapane said softly. Shido nodded. He didn’t actually hate Ban now, just a bit discomfort when he was near him. But seeing Ginji and Ban like this wasn’t actually his cup of tea.

“Anything we can help?” Shido finally voiced. Ginji blinked. He sighed and shook his head.

Ginji and the others came back to the café later that night. “What’s all that sound?” Kazuki asked, looking around. There seemed to be a party around. “Sounds like it came from there,” Akapane pointed at the Honky Tonk café. “A party in Pore’s café? Why didn’t we know about it?” Ginji blinked, rushing his way there.

Just as he opened the door, cheers, whistling and claps were heard so loud until he couldn’t tell what Kazuki was telling him. “WHAT IS IT?” he asked Kazuki. The long hair boy pointed up at the counter where two people were dancing, swaying vigorously to the beat.

“Ban-chan,” finally Ginji recognized one of the silhouettes. He was slowing down, letting another guy lean on him, kissing his neck, licking his chest. The sweat glistening on his torso was beautiful. But why was he doing such? Letting some guy kiss him in public.

“Who’s that guy?” Ginji asked Hevn. The lady shrugged. “Who cares? He’s cute, that’s what’s important,” Hevn whistled to the couple.

Ginji frowned. “Ban-chan!” Ginji shouted when the music died down. “Ban-chan!” Ginji pushed his way to the boy who was sitting on the counter, waiting for the guy to finish with his kissing. Ban opened one eye lazily.

“Come down!” Ginji pushed the strange boy away, pulling Ban to him. The boy with blue eyes pulled away his wrist and snarled to Ginji. “Go back to your friends! Your monkey tamer! Your Kazuki! Your slutty girls~!!” he spat. Natsumi bit her lips.

Ban pushed Ginji away and walked unstably to the door. The crowd booed Ginji. “Why you chased him away!?” a guy asked, following Ban out. In not more than 20 seconds, the café was empty.

“I was making money you know?” Pore uttered sarcastically, hinting Ginji for chasing away his customers.

Ginji was silent. Ban was drunk. He looked up at Kazuki and and Shido. “I’m sorry he said that,” he uttered. They smiled. “He’s drunk,” Kazuki nodded.

Ban walked his way towards the park. He looked at the fountain and blinked, unconsciously walking towards it. He sat at the side, putting his feet in the water.

The water from the fountain splashed tenderly on his face. Slowly bringing him to sober.

He smiled ironically. “Life sucks,” he grimaced, lying down falling asleep.

 "Love and friends. Which would you put in front of you?" Ginji asked softly, practically towards no one but Pore, Kazuki, Hevn and Akapane were nearby so they thought about it. "I'd say love. Coz someone you love mostly are the people you know as friends," Kazuki smiled. "What about love at first sight? You don't know that person at all and you already fell in love," Hevn suggested. Kazuki pouted. "I don't trust love at first sight. It's lust, not love. Love is general. Basically it covers the whole scope of a person being trustable, caring, would do anything to keep each other safe no matter what. So, in order to achieve that, you have to know that person; and in the process of knowing someone, you call that person friend," Kazuki grinned. Akapane nodded. "I agree," he said, smiling as usual.

  "So, this proves that a lover is more important than a friend. A lover is a special friend," Kazuki looked at Ren and smiled.

 Ginji looked up at them. He let out a heavy sigh. Maybe he was wrong all this time.

Next morning Ban walked over to the café. Pore blinked as he saw the young man entered his shop. His hair was no more like a hedgehog. It’s now falling down to the sides, covering part of his eyes. “Morning, Ban,” Pore smiled. “Hn,” Ban replied softly.

He closed his eyes and rested his chin on his hand.

 “Wanna drink coffee?” Pore asked. “Hn,” Ban answered from his arms.

 Pore sighed. The boy really has no friends.

 “Ne, Pore-san! Can we dance?” suddenly asked a foreign voice. “Sure,” Pore nodded at the question. The sound of a few coins dropped into the jukebox was heard. After a few seconds, a song started.

  It was bad, cause the song was a sappy love song. Ban’s eyes unconsciously moistened and he started sobbing in his arms. Pore sighed. He patted the boy’s back.

  Then he looked up. “Love sucks! It’s just bloody bullshit!” He shouted, mainly at the dancing couple. Then he ran out of the café.

 It was 10 days later that they realized that Ban was really gone. He didn’t show up in the café, didn’t go to the park, didn’t see any of them.

  Ginji’s frown was permanent on his forehead. “Are you sure he didn’t even come here?” He asked Pore. Pore nodded. “Yeah. Last I saw him was after this couple played this love song and he went berserk, running out of the café.

  He looked at Hevn. “Hevn-san, are you sure he didn’t even come to see you for jobs?” Ginji asked. Hevn blinked and grinned. “Oh, of course! Why would he come and see me?” She gulped, stirring her coffee nervously.

  Then a group of people wearing black coats came into the café. “Is Hevn here?” they asked. “It’s me,” she stood up, walking towards them. They handed her a parcel. “Tanamura-sama send his regard. He’s very satisfied,” one of them uttered. Hevn nodded.

  “What’s that? A new mission?” Ginji asked. Hevn shook her head. “Nothing,” she said softly, resuming on stirring her coffee.

  “You wanna eat or drink anything?” Pore asked. Ginji shook his head. “How could I eat when Ban-chan’s gone? Something might have happen to him!” he frowned.

  “I hope he’s still alive,” Pore uttered. From the look Ban gave when he last saw him, he didn’t look too enthusiastic to live on.
“He must be alive!” Ginji exclaimed. Suddenly he was shaking. Just the thought of Ban dead brought him back to the night when Ban laid lifeless on the table, whether it was an illusion or real it was still horrible.

  “Kazuki and the whole Volts were trying to locate Ban-chan for the last four days,” Ginji sighed as he walked out the door. “I’m going too as well,” he said.

  Pore looked at Hevn, cold sweats were appearing on her forehead. “You know where he is, right?” He asked her when Natsumi went to serve some customer. Hevn looked up at Pore. “I… I…” she sighed. “I promised Ban not to tell Ginji,” she said softly. “But you can at least tell me, got me worried,” Pore shook his head.

  “I kinda sold him off to someone,” she admitted. Pore frowned. “Sold?” he echoed. Hevn nodded. “Remember the last job Ban went to do alone?” she asked. Pore nodded. “It seemed that Tanamura-san likes Ban. A lot,” she ended.

  “So he wanted him for himself?” Pore asked. “You can say so,” Hevn shrugged. “What did he say about it?” Pore asked. Hevn sighed.


  “He wanted you,” Hevn said softly. Ban sighed. It was raining heavily. “As a slave?” he asked. “Maybe so,” Hevn uttered. Ban looked at the pooling water. “There’s nothing more I can do alone now. Might as well stay at a big house and enjoy the rest of my life,” Ban smirked sarcastically.

  “You’re on to a big decision,” Hevn advised. “You trying to tell me no after all this?” Ban looked at the girl. Hevn sighed. “You know, Ginji…”

  “Ginji what? He’s alright with his ‘friends’ he doesn’t need me. And not a word about this to him, you understand this!?” His eyes were murderous. Hevn gulped and nodded.

  Ban laid on the chair. Small droplets of rain fell on his face. “I might as well spend some time with someone who actually has lust for me. If I can’t have love… I could at least afford an imitation…” he smiled ironically at himself.

 Hevn felt sad as she tried to comfort the boy to no avail. Ban never felt the need for compassion by girls. He just wanted back the love from the one he loves.

End of flashback…

Hevn sighed. Pore shook his head. “Poor kid,” Pore shook his head. “Who do you think is in the wrong here?” Hevn asked. Pore shook his head. “Both are innocent. They just needed to be shown and guided,” he smiled.

Ban opened his eyes. Again he was on this big soft bed with satin sheets. So comfortable. He counted with his fingers. It was more than seven times he woke up from this bed. Then the breakfast will be served. After that his master would come and talk with him. It was a routine. Everyday was the same as yesterday.

“I wanna go out,” he said suddenly when his master was talking to him. Tanamura was a 27 year old guy who’s running a big company. He was rich and kind. And he loves Ban a lot.

  “Oh, you wanna buy a Valentines present?” Tanamura asked. Ban blinked. Valentines? He blinked. “Aa,” he managed to croak. “Okay!” Tanamura nodded as he walked out of the room.

  Ban blinked as he counted with his fingers. “It is Valentines in four days time,” he uttered to himself and sank back into the soft bed. “If only I could celebrate it,” he bit his lips.

  “He’s there. Tell group 45,”

  “Group 45? This is group 22. Yeah, he’s there, In Little Tokyo. Tell group 67,”

   “Group 67? This is group 45, tell Ginji-sama that We have spotted Ban in Little Tokyo,”

  A boy ran up to Ginji. “We saw him! He’s in Little Tokyo!!” Ginji blinked. “Little Tokyo?” he echoed and unconsciously started running towards the stated location.

  “Ban-chan!” Ginji hollered when he saw the boy from afar. Ban bit his lips. How did he find him here?

  Ginji ran up to Ban and pulled him behind some doors. It was silent. The place was far from anyone. Not even a soul.

  Ginji dropped to his knees and reached for the opening of Ban’s pants. He ripped open the zip and found the limp member inside. “What’re you doing!?” Ban asked. Ginji took the piece of meat into his mouth and suckled it.

  Ban closed his eyes, biting his lips. “S…someone m… might see us, you i… idiot,” he said shakily as Ginji managed to bring his rod alive. “Fuck!” Ban cursed.

  “Not now, baby…” Ginji left Ban’s excited rod and straightened up. He cupped Ban’s face as he licked his jaws, earlobes, trailing down his neck with his teeth. “Ban-chan… I miss you. I love you… Please don’t leave me again…” he whispered, sucking on Ban’s neck leaving marks.

  Ban bit his teeth. He loved the boy. Only god knows how happy he was to hear those loving words from the blonde. But he now belonged to Tanamura, which he did not love. But what’s done is done.

  He had to do something. :… Forgive me, Gin-chan…: he uttered in his heart.


  Ginji blinked, resting his palms on his left cheek where Ban just slapped him, hard.

Slowly, ever so slowly Ban pushed Ginji away. “I told you, Ginji… It’s over,” he redid his pants and smoothed his shirt. “Ban-chan… I’m sorry… I just realized now how important you are to me. I just couldn’t bare the thought of you away from me!” He tried to hold Ban’s hand.

  “I’m sorry Ginji…” he said as he gave the boy a snake bite on his neck. Ginji fainted limp in Ban’s arm. He carried the boy to Honky Tonk Café.

  “Ban!” Pore, Natsumi and Hevn exclaimed in unison. Ban looked up to them and gave a sad smile. “What happened?” Hevn asked. Natsumi was going to go see what happened when Pore stopped her. “Watch,” he uttered softly.

  Ban settled the boy on a chair and looked at the innocent face, cherubic and sweet. He bit his lips as he suppressed his tears. “Gin-chan…” he said softly. “Gomen nasai…” he apologized as he leaned down to kiss Ginji’s lips.

  He suddenly took off his white shirt and placed it on Ginji.

  “Gomen ne…” he stood up, leaving the café. “Ban-san!” Natsumi called after the half naked boy. Hevn held her. “He has his reasons,” she said softly. Natsumi frowned. “But… but why did he…” Pore smiled. “This is love Natsumi. It’s very complicated,” he smiled, trying to suppress his own tears.

 His door was knocked. His master came in. “What did you get today?” he asked. Ban shook his head. “Nothing nice, maybe I’ll go see again tomorrow,” he said softly. Tanamura nodded. “Good night,” he kissed Ban and walked out the room.

 Ginji startled from his sleep. It was raining ever so heavily outside. “Where’s Ban-chan?” he asked. Pore was about to close shop. Hevn blinked. “He left,” Natsumi uttered. Hevn kicked her under the chair.

  “But why!?” Ginji whined, his face again an anxious expression. “Ginji, you have to understand. Ban-kun now is… is…” Hevn couldn’t bring herself to say it. “Ban-chan is what?!” Ginji asked, raising his voice. “He’s not yours anymore,” Hevn sighed.

  “No! He’s mine and I’m his! It’s forever like this!” Ginji insisted. Trying to push away the replaying incident in his head. The sound of Ban’s slap was still heard ringing in his ears. “He’s not yours anymore!” Hevn shouted.

  “NO!!!” Ginji closed his ears, as if unwilling to listen to the truth.

“H… he left you his shirt,” Natsumi said softly. Ginji blinked as he looked at the white fabric in his grip. It was indeed Ban’s shirt. “Ban-chan…” He cried as he inhaled the sweet scent of faded cologne mixed with a faint cigarette smell. “Ban-chan…” he cried again to the fabric.

  “Why is he gone?” Ginji asked. It’s worst like this, to know that he’s alive but can’t be his.

  The boy put on Ban’s shirt and crawled towards Hevn. “Hevn-san… tell me why is he gone?” Ginji pleaded, kneeling in front of her and bowed. Hevn sighed. “He now belongs to Tanamura. Ban-kun is now Tanamura’s slave,” she said softly.

  Ginji’s eyes open wide.

  “No…” he shook his head. “No! You’re lying to me! Ban-chan won’t do such!” Ginji exclaimed.

  “Gin-chan! It’s partly your fault. If you have paid more attention to him, he wouldn’t have felt so bad and sold himself to some guy he didn’t love!” Hevn exclaimed. Ginji bit his lips until blood trailed down from his wounded lips.

  Those bloody lips trembled. “Ban-chan…” he cried hugging the sweet scented loose shirt he wore, tightly. Crying.

 “You sure about this, Ginji-san?” Kazuki asked. Ginji nodded. “My whole life is there,” he bit his lips. Kazuki nodded at Ren. “You wanna come as well?” he asked the boy. Ren nodded. “I wouldn’t want to miss a love story,” he whispered to Kazuki.

  Shido handed Ginji the piece of paper with Tanamura’s address. “Go!” Ginji hollered as the main leaders walked after him, followed by hundreds of boys; the members of Volts.

  “How much money we have?” Ginji asked. “Approximately 3,500,000 yen,” Akapane licked his lips. Ginji frowned. Would that much of money be enough to buy back his lover’s freedom?

  “Tanamura-sama! Taihen desu yo!” Exclaimed the house’s butler. Tanamura looked to him. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Look!” the butler pointed out the window. Tanamura turned and blinked. His gate was crowded with people. “Who are they?” he asked.

  The butler shook his head. “I have no idea,” he uttered. Suddenly the intercom rang. “Tanamura-san!” said the unfamiliar voice. “Who are you?” Tanamura asked. “Amano Ginji. I come to take back what I believe is mine,” he replied.

  Ban blinked. He couldn’t believe it. Outside the compound were hundreds of youngsters. Big and small, just waiting to come in. “Ginji,” he uttered softly.

  “I don’t have anything that belonged to you,” Tanamura said through the intercom. “Yes you do! Go!” Ginji signaled.

  With that, the whole Volts climbed up the wall, entering the courtyard of Tanamura’s mansion.

  Tanamura went out the room and ran downstairs. “Tanamura-sama! It’s dangerous!” the butler stopped him. Tanamura shook his head. “Ginji is tolerable. We just have to see what he wants,” Tanamura opened the door.

  A big ambush of people was in front of his door when Tanamura opened the big main door. Ginji was in front, holding his right arm out as a signal for the boys to stop forwarding towards Tanamura’s residence. Tanamura eyed the boy who was wearing a loose white shirt over his green jacket. He narrowed his eyes. It looked like Ban’s white shirt.

  “I want Ban-chan,” Ginji finally spoke. Tanamura blinked. He was afraid that Ginji might say such.

  “Midou-sama,” the butler said softly as he saw Ban coming down the stairs. Tanamura turned around. Ban was standing on the steps of the stairs. “Ban,” Tanamura spoke softly, roughly knowing where this lead to.

  Ban stayed mute. He said nothing nor showed any expression. The air was tense. Everyone was silent, waiting for anyone who dared to break the shaking ice.

  Ban’s eyes were cold, his mind was replaying a full set of his past. Those painful events replaying, piercing his heart every time. “Shimatta!!!” He shouted at them as he turned around, running back to his room.

  “Ban-chan!” Ginji pushed past Tanamura and ran after Ban. “Wait!” the butler tried to stop Ginji but was halted by Tanamura. “We’ll wait,” he uttered softly. Tanamura turned around to Kazuki and the people behind him. They look dangerous if not obeyed. He made a mental note noting the items each and everyone of them were holding. Hammers, chainsaw, baseball bat with nails, dagger, and skateboards, not even reminding him about their faces and tattoos.

  Kazuki was being kind enough to tell Tanamura what exactly was going on.

  “Ban-chan!” Ginji managed to stop the boy from closing the door. Ban left the half-shut door and jumped on his bed, covering the pillow on his head.
  Ginji took a deep breath and pushed the door slightly, peeping in. “Ban-chan…?” he called. “Go away!” Ban shouted from his pillow. “But…” Ginji inched closer and realized that Ban was sobbing under the pillow.

  “I’ll forever be with Tanamura, Ginji… go away,” Ban uttered. “But we bought enough money to buy back your freedom!” Ginji smiled, trying to touch Ban’s body. “3,500,000 yen Ban-chan!!”

  Ban pushed away the hand and straightened up, looking at Ginji. Ginji blinked, he had never seen Ban cried like such. He seemed so innocent and sweet. “You know how MUCH he bought me for?” Ban asked. Ginji blinked. “No.”

  Ban smirked. “100,000,000 yen,” he croaked out the value. Ginji’s eyes widened. Was it real that his lover worth so much?

  “Go back Ginji. You’d be happier without me. You won’t get any hitting from me anymore for talking to girls. You won’t have to worry about me after you fussed over your friends. You won’t need to sleep in a small car. You won’t…” Ban paused, taking a deep breath. “You won’t have to see me anymore…” he spoke, ever so softly.

  Ginji bit his lips. He had never imagine the Great and Macho Ban would feel so low and unwanted. “Ban-chan…” Ginji started. Ban shook his head. “Just go away… I know I’m a shitty jinx in love,” he breathed.

  “But I need you, I want you…” Ginji reasoned. “Yes, you want me. Isn’t that right? I’m nothing to you than a mere sex toy. I’m just good for a quick fuck! Am I not?” Ban looked at Ginji with big deadly blue poisonous eyes.

  Ginji blinked. He started thinking. All he did towards Ban did really look like he just used the poor boy for sex, especially the incident in Little Tokyo. Maybe he really deserved that slap.

  He was kicked back to his senses when he realized what Ban was doing. The boy was stripping. First, that cotton shirt, then the pants and finally the last piece of garment covering his private parts.

  Ban was stark naked.

  Ginji blinked. “Is this what you want so much!?” Ban asked. Ginji was stunt, he didn’t knew what to say. All the opted options in his list of answers would be bad for future references and Ban’s feelings.

  “Or do you want me bruised all over to turn you on?” Ban asked again when he got no answer. He reached out to shatter the glass on his dressing table, taking pieces of the sharp crystalline object as he scraped it along his smooth face, down to his torso, leaving fine but deep cuts and trails of blood here and there.

  “No, stop!!” Ginji couldn’t take it anymore when he saw Ban torturing himself in such a way.

  “Maybe you want me dead? Isn’t that what you wanted?” He pointed the sharp edge of the glass that glinted against the sunlight on his throat. “Oh, I forgot, you wouldn’t even care,” he snorted sarcastically.

  “Ban-chan… I acted in such way because Shido and Kazu-chan needs me,” Ginji tried one of his answers. Ban shot a look at Ginji. “And you think I don’t need you?!” he dared Ginji to look back at him with that same cold eyes and say yes.

  Then suddenly the world turned upside down. It went through a triple spin before slowing down to a stable view.

  A fire. A monstrous fire was eating up a building. Ginji felt cold sweats on his forehead. “AAHHH!!!!” a shout was heard. Ginji alerted himself and ran into the burning building to find both Ban and Kazuki trapped under a fallen wood.

  Ginji blinked. Who must he save?

  His body suddenly moved without him giving any answers. He reached out to pull out Ban from the rubble and put him steadily on his back before pulling Kazuki’s hand.

  They were safe…


  Most importantly Ban was safe…

  Ginji was suddenly snapped back into reality.

  Blood was now staining those pristine white satin sheets. Ginji blinked. Ban was still smiling as if all those blood coming out from him were just mere sweats.

  Ginji walked towards Ban and took the sturdy bleeding hand that was still holding the piece of glass tightly. He discarded the thing away and climbed on bed with Ban, curling his legs under him. He touched the still face, ignoring the blood. One free hand brushed away a pearl of welled tear.

  Ginji did something he never did to Ban. He pulled the head gently towards him and cradled it, letting Ban listen to his steady heartbeat as the boy leaned weakly against him. He ran his hand through Ban’s soft brown hair, repeating the motion calming the boy. Ban closed his eyes and brought himself to relaxation.

  The rhythm of Ginji’s heartbeat slowly matched his own. Now it was one rhythm belonging to two different souls. Or was it the rhythm of two halves of a soul that had finally found its pair?

  He kept listening.






  Ginji opened his eyes when he realized something was wrong. “Ban-chan!!!” He shouted. No response. “Damn!” He cursed himself as he took the profusely bleeding boy in his arms, wrapping him with some bed sheets.

  He ran down the stairs. “Hospital!!! Ban needs a doctor!!!” he shouted.

  Tanamura’s eyes widened in horror. He immediately ordered a car to send the boy to the hospital.

  Ginji carried the boy in through the emergency entrance. “Doctor!!!” He cried, cursing himself all the way. If only he realized how much blood did Ban lost.

  “Ginji-san… do you want to go to my place for a rest? You’ll feel much bett…” Kazuki’s words were cut when Ginji shook his head. “I promised Ban-chan to be right next to him when he wakes up,” Ginji bit his knuckles.
  Then the doctor came out of the ICU ward. “Doctor! How’s he?” Ginji asked. He smiled. “We had successfully transfused 3 pints of blood into him. He was really in critical condition when he was brought in. Now we just have to hope that his body doesn’t reject the blood,” he patted Ginji’s back.

  “Can I see him?” Ginji asked. The doctor nodded. “Moral support is what he needed most now,” the doctor grinned. Then the door opened as a trolley with Ban on it came out with 2 nurses pushing it. Without a word, Ginji followed them.

  Ginji waited after the nurses went out, he sat close to Ban holding his bandaged hand. “I’m here Ban-chan… I’ll always be here,” he rubbed the hand on his cheek.
 Then there was a sound. It seemed that outside the room, there was someone playing a song.

He bit his lips when his senses recognized the song.

“If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
And with you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you…”

Ginji’s eyes started to well tears as the chorus came.

“Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
You'll only change my whole life through
But Nothing's gonna change my love for you”

  His grip on Ban’s hand tightened.

“If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead a way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you”

  Ban opened his eyes slowly, listening as well to the song. He began to emit tears himself when he heard Ginji sang the last chorus with the song.

“Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love …”

Ban could feel his hand wet with Ginji’s tears seeping through the bandages. He bit his lips.

  “Nothing's gonna change my love for you…” Ban started to sing behind misted tearful voice. Ginji looked up with a smile and sang with him.
“You ought to know by now how much I love you … You'll only change my whole life through … But Nothing's gonna change my love for you* …”

Their eyes locked together in an embrace of their own. “Gin-chan…” Ban whispered softly, suppressing his tears. “Ban-chan…” Ginji lunged forward and hugged his lover, covering him with kisses even though half of Ban’s face were covered by bandages and cut sealers.

 “Eien ni aishiteru, Ban-chan…” Ginji cried. Ban nodded. “Ore mou,” he choked back his tears.

Unknown to both lovers, a shadow left the door after seeing such a romantic scene. He wiped away a tear from his eyes. As the song played on, he realized how much they loved each other. “I wish you two happiness,” he smiled.

Three day’s later… 10.00 am

Hevn frowned at the letter. The contents were quite amusing. She had a mixed feeling of curiosity, happiness and guilt.

Pore frowned. “Are you sure?” he asked. Hevn nodded. “He was willing to let Ban-kun go just like that,” Hevn sighed.

  “Tadaima!” a voice hollered. A sunshine hair youth came in together with a brown hair boy. “Ginji-san! Ban-san!” Kazuki exclaimed.

  They all talked and talked. Ban was released from the hospital due to a speedy recovery. All of them were there. Somehow, Ban knew that Tanamura had freed him. A sweet love song was playing. Ren came into the café with something hidden behind him. “What’s with all this love song marathon? That’s the 4th one I heard since I was here!” Himiko pouted.

  “It’s Valentine’s of course,” Ren smiled as he surprisingly kissed Kazuki on his cheeks. “Happy Valentine’s day!” he cheered, handling Kazuki a bouquet of roses. Kazuki blushed. “Ren-kun…!”

  “That’s so sweet,” Natsumi sighed happily.

  After the song ended, someone had put on that song… that particular love song.

  “Ban-chan! Our song!!” Ginji exclaimed as he pulled Ban, joining a few other couples dancing with the music. Ren and Kazuki joined as well.

“If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
And with you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

*Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
You'll only change my whole life through
But Nothing's gonna change my love for you*

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead a way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

*Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
You'll only change my whole life through
But Nothing's gonna change my love for you* …”

  Ban smiled. “You’re so dang sweet,” he kissed the boy. Ginji swayed with the song, returning the sweet passionate kiss.

  Ban sighed, sedated. He was contented. Contented with the love he presently had. Maybe he wasn’t a jinx in love after all. His love just happened to arrive a bit…


Tried to make a sappy fic… but I kept crying and crying… it’s the song… that dang song… gods it’s so sweet and sappy…

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