Yaoi, parody...

A fanfic by ~> Bulma Briefs

“How about your injuries?” Himiko asked Ban. Ban smiled. “It’s okay. I just need some rest…” Ban said softly as he fell to the floor unceremoniously with a thud. Himiko shook her head and sighed. Ban had always has that high ego. He loves her as a sister and would forgive anything she did even though she tried to kill him several times.

“Bakayarou…” she shook her head and redid the cloth around her body. She poked Ban on the side to make sure he’s really off the ground. “Oi, wake up…” she called. But no response.

Kazuki suddenly appeared, his face was wet, hell he was wet all over. “What’s wrong?” Himiko asked. Kazuki bit his lips. He must have looked as bad as he felt. “Some jerk poured water on me,” he muttered. Himiko laughed.

“Wait for Ginji-san and the others?” Kazuki suggested. Himiko nodded. This was the safest place to gather; high, opened and safe from the lowly lads.

“What happened to him?” Kazuki pointed at Ban. “Overused his Jagan and physical strength. Now he’s ‘hibernating’,” Himiko smiled.

“Ever wondered how he have blue eyes?” Himiko asked.

Kazuki shook his head. “His grandmother is German. Those blue eyes were the Evil Eye that Europeans wanted so much. His family moved to Japan when he was small so to run from the crazy European scientists. But his father somewhat grow to hate the ability of his Jagan. His father was mean…” Himiko looked solemnly at Ban.

“He looked lonely. Who do you think he likes?” Kazuki teases. Himiko looked up to Kazuki. There’s a glint in his mischievous tone. “He doesn’t love me like that. I’m really like a sister to him. Besides, his sex drive doesn’t recognize girls as an interesting object,” Himiko laughed. Kazuki frowned.

“You mean he’s…” Himiko giggled more. “Not necessarily he loves boys. He can have sex with them without even thinking they’re there,” Himiko smirked. Kazuki frowned. “I don’t understand,” he pondered aloud.

“Well, let’s say he had sex with Ginji. But he doesn’t love him. It’s like a one-night-stand thing. That could be possible even,” Himiko smiled.

“You mean he doesn’t love Ginji-san?” Kazuki asked. “I didn’t say so. It was just an example. He might love Ginji, but I know he’d never tell anyone. He’s too reserved for his own sake,” Himiko stood up and stretched.

“What about you?” Himiko glanced at Kazuki. “Me?” Kazuki blinked. “I saw how Ren-kun looks at you. He looks like Ban with nicer colored hair,” Himiko giggled. “Ah, he still owes me tea,” Kazuki tried to turn the table. “Wedding tea?” Himiko smirked. “Himiko-san!” Kazuki blushed so red he didn’t even realize he could beat the tomatoes.

“His grandfather likes you too,” Himiko smiled. “His grandfather dries bats like vegetables. Creepy,” Kazuki remembered the dried bat that fell on him when he woke up yesterday.

Then Kazuki frowned. “I thought Ban likes Hevn?” He pondered aloud. Himiko blinked. “Hevn?” She burst into giggles. “What? What? Did I say something funny?” Kazuki knotted his brows.

“Lemme guess why you say such. You observe he likes her breast?” Himiko asked. Kazuki shrugged and nodded.

“To him, those boobies represent nothing but something to mock about. And to irritate the lady, he did such. Interesting isn’t it?” Himiko explained.

“So he’s incapable of loving?” Kazuki asked. “He’s capable of being loved but loving, it depends. I’ve never seen him in love before. Maybe it’ll be a scene too interesting to ignore?” Himiko shrugged.

“Why don’t you try? Hit him with a lust spell or something. That’s your specialty ain’t it?” Kazuki dared. Himiko looked at him and blinked twice. A smile broke from her round face. “Nice idea,” Himiko smirked, reaching for a bottle of perfume. “With whom?” she asked. “I’d like to see him with Akapane,” Kazuki giggled.

“You know, you’d be a great partner if you’re a girl. We can do all sorts of mischief together,” Himiko giggled. “Akapane?” Himiko asked as she took one poison bottle out. “Akapane it is,” Kazuki giggled. Himiko nodded and sat next to Ban. “Wait till Akapane reaches here,” she said softly.

“What’s inside your perfume anyway?” Kazuki asked. “I never tell anyone. But I can tell you that it’s hormones. I’ll make Ban as love sick as a dog. That’s for all revenge done,” Himiko sensed Akapane and poured the whole bottle on Ban.

“It’ll take effect in 1 minute,” Himiko gestured towards east when Ginji and Akapane emerged. Now to wait for Shido.

“What happened to Ban-chan?” Ginji asked as he started to run towards the boy. Kazuki held Ginji and shook his head. “Ban’s being hit hard. He might wake up and act violently. So it’s best to stay away from him. Akapane can go take a look coz he’s violent enough to resist Ban’s violence,” Kazuki sounded lame but it was interesting.

By the next moment, Akapane went over to check on Ban and smelled the perfume unconsciously. He hadn’t realizes that Himiko had sprinkled the same perfume on him too. He suddenly felt as if Ban was the most beautiful being on earth. And his slightly torn clothes… gosh…

Akapane leaned down and touched Ban’s forehead. He was in love…

Ban stirred. His nose was scanning something unfamiliar. He flitted his lashes and opened his blue eyes. “Akapane…” he said softly.

“What?” Ginji pointed out at Ban and Akapane. “What are they… BAN! BAN!!” Ginji shouted as Akapane leaned down and kissed Ban’s slightly puckered lips. Shit! Was he hit too hard? Was Akapane crazy? Ginji’s brain swirled in a dimension of thoughts.

Akapane lifted Ban’s head and rested it on his lap. They totally ignored the others. It was as if they were together since the beginning of time, unperturbed by their surroundings.

Kazuki held Ginji tight. “What is the matter with them? I thought Ban hated Akapane?” Ginji frowned. Both Himiko and Kazuki shrugged. “I dunno,” Himiko whistled and walked away, hiding a giggle. “We’re here!” Himiko waved at Shido as he came around the corner. He smiled but blinked as he saw the scene behind them.

He pointed. “What’s up?” he asked in general. Himiko and Kazuki shrugged and smiled. “Shido!” Ginji ran anxiously towards Shido and held his shirt tight. “Ban has gone cuckoo. He needs help. How could he be involved with that… that… psycho?! Help him!” Ginji gritted his teeth. “Akapane’s not a psycho,” Himiko reasoned. “Yes he is!” Ginji insisted.

“I’m not a psycho,” Akapane stood up, carrying Ban in his arms. Ban smiled and hung on Akapane’s neck. “You came to take me back, didn’t you?” Ban asked Akapane in a rather girlish gesture. “Yes, dear. Now that everything’s well, we can go together,” Akapane answered sweetly.

Ginji blinked.

Kazuki let go of Ginji and inched closer to Himiko. “How did Ban turned to such?” he asked. Himiko giggled. “The perfume I gave Ban had some extra effects,” she whispered.

Ginji looked at them. “What’s wrong with them?” he asked. “Oh, nothing… We’re just saying how sweet Ban looks in that position if he was wearing a wedding gown,” Himiko smiled. Kazuki nudged her softly.

“Oh yes, wedding gown! We must find one that suits you well, my lovely,” Akapane smiled. Ban nodded. “I can get hair extensions to make my hair longer #^_______^#,” he was blushing.
 

 “What is this absurdity? This is insane!” Ginji walked up to them. “Ops, I unconsciously let him go,” Kazuki bit his lips giggling to Himiko. “Did you guys by any chance had anything to do with this incident?” Shido looked accusingly at Kazuki and Himiko. “Us?” Kazuki and Himiko looked at each other pointing at themselves. “Nah,” they giggled together. “We’re as clean as a fox,” Himiko smirked.

“And slick as one as well,” Shido looked away, knowing who was behind it all. “Anyway guys, they really look sick together,” Shido commented. “I’d say so either,” Himiko nodded. “Me too… but I was just curious,” Kazuki giggled.

Ginji walked up to them and stood in front of Akapane who was around 20cm taller than he was. “LET BAN DOWN!” He demanded. “Why? Why must I let my love down?” Akapane asked. “Oh, never… never should you leave me in anyway my love…” Ban said softly. “I am really going to puke,” Ginji bit his lips and saw a few buckets of water nearby.

He rushed over to take it.

“There goes the spell. But it was fun,” Kazuki giggled. “Yeah… I hope we get off this clean,” Himiko smiled. Kazuki smiled, but his eyes blinked. “What?” he looked at Himiko. “We might get in trouble when Ban snaps out of it,” Himiko giggled. Kazuki blinked. “Won’t he forget about it?” he asked. Himiko shook her head. “Even if he didn’t knew about it. He would certainly guess whose work it was. And I’m not on it ALONE,” Himiko smirked.

‘Splash’

Ginji dunked the bucket of water on them. Akapane blinked. So did Ban. Ban looked up at Akapane and frowned. “Why are you carrying me like this?” He asked. “Why am I carrying you like this?” Akapane asked himself.

‘Thud!’

Ban dropped on the floor unceremoniously. “Shit you! At least give me a warning!” He rubbed his sore ass. “What’s wrong Ban? What happened?” Ginji asked.

Ban’s eyes spied Kazuki and Himiko.

“It’s a good time if you want to run now,” Himiko smiled, a sweatdrop appeared on her forehead. “I second that,” Kazuki smiled and turned around.

“You come back you two! COME BACK!!” Ban ran after them.

“And to think you’re going to get married with Akapane and wear a wedding gown,” Ginji said before Ban could go on a step further to run after the two. Ban stopped and turned.

“I wouldn’t do such! If I were ever getting married,” he inched closer to Ginji. “You’re wearing the wedding gown,” he pointed at Ginji’s nose.

Akapane walked away. He was red. He had never being played like that before. “You two are toast,” he promised himself as his operation knife shone in his hand.
 

Owarimashita…

Koorime Yukina
22/10/2000

Author’s Note : Say, Ban let’s have a peace agreement okay? Sorry, wrote this piece of crap when I was really bored. I read the Shonen weekly vol 45 and just thought that I really need to do this. Okay kill me!!! Kill me!! But I was bored and I had that giggly idea in my brain!!
 

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